Not to belabor Labor Day but…

Best Labor Day sermon: “How to be a Christian at Work” by Adrian Rogers. Four point outline: Don’t Brag, Don’t Sag, Don’t Lag, Don’t Nag. Best rhyming, alliterative outline ever. Nah, I don’t recall the text. You can start with the title and outline and then find a text, huh? You’ve got 364 days to come up with something.

How much I got paid for my first job: $1.00/hr. Carried a chain for a surveyor, an old guy (so I thought). Spend all day Saturdays and the old guy would wear me out tromping through the woods staking out roads and lots.

Highest Paid Southern Baptist employee: Well, you’ll never know because it’s a secret.

Largest honorarium I ever got for a funeral: Couple of hundred bucks. The first funeral I ever did. I was overpaid.

Least honorarium I ever got for supply preaching: Zero, zip, nada dollars. Couple of times. No big deal. I was overpaid other times. The Lord works this stuff out.

Worst labor problem for the church: Lazy preachers. Any questions or argument?

Number of Labor Day sermons I have in my sermon files: Maybe a couple. Never thought it was a Sunday worth a topical sermon.

Most ignored labor effort in the American church: This fundamental matter of discipling other believers. Once folks found out that you could make money by writing books about discipling and getting fees for “coaching,” why bother with the real thing?

Number of Sundays I spent without church responsibilities from the time I took my first pastorate until the Sunday I retired: One. I had one Sunday in between when I resigned one church and before I started a new church.

Number of sabbaticals I’ve had. Zero, unless you count the seven years since I retired. [But I highly recommend giving your faithful pastor a sabbatical.]

Worst job I ever had: Blowing cellulose insulation into attics in Memphis in summer. Five bucks an hour, not too bad at the time. Once a client gave me and the other workers some frozen, sugared grapes while we took a break from the heat. Best snack I ever had.

Best job I ever had: Grandparent.

Number of bosses from Gehenna that I’ve had: Zero, but I suspect one or two were headed there.

Number of years I’ve been “paying into Social Security: Oh, 55 or so. Render to Caesar.

Most dangerous job: Tree work. Really, guys? No hard hat, gloves, boots, and safety equipment?

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Have a nice holiday weekend. Back to the grindstone tomorrow.


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